Archive for the ‘Burning Hatred’ Category

Nought Point Nought Eight Pence

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

The reward for getting back the missing data disks is £20,000.

There are 25 million records on the disks.

Which means each record is worth 0.08 pence to the government.

Make of that as you will.

[Big thanks to Leeky who pointed out that in my original post my maths were wrong - I think I need more sleep (and see the comments for the discussion) mea culpa.]

[tags]Datagate[/tags]

WARNING! Mad Bombers That Bomb At Night Are Everywhere!

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

Security will be stepped up at railway stations, airports and ports as part of government attempts to tackle terrorism, Gordon Brown has announced.
There will be new security barriers, vehicle exclusion zones and blast resistant buildings, but air passengers will be allowed more luggage from 2008.

So we have less terrorist attacks than during the time of the IRA. Yet only now have we worked our way up into such a frenzy of fear that we need to do this sort of crap.
I’ve never felt so much like a criminal in my own country.

Reading

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

Channel 4 (in the UK) are running trailers for a new programme about children reading. As part of the voiceover it mentions that “One in nine children leave Primary school without being able to read”.

This strikes me as amusing because my brother, the teacher, had recently attended a meeting at his Secondary school where it was revealed that nine out of ten children going there don’t know how to read.

This is not a ‘special’ school, just a normal school in London.

This is our future, and it’s one we’ve made ourselves.

This is also what us internet users forget, that there are large amounts of people who can’t read. And there are a fair few in England.

My father was illiterate and as a child I thought that was strange and sad. What is stranger and sadder is that it seems that things are getting worse rather than better. We are creating a group of children who will be cut off from written culture, all they will know is what they see on the TV.

The highest rated TV programmes at the moment are soaps.

[tags]Idiocracy, leaving nine children behind, the fall of Western civilisation, reading, literacy[/tags]

Someone Shoot The Marketing Department.

Friday, September 21st, 2007

From the BBC.

TV channel UKTV G2, which shows cult comedy and game shows aimed at young men, is to be rebranded Dave.

UKTV says the new name is based on the idea that “everyone knows a bloke called Dave”.

The head of Dave, Steven North, said: “Changing the channel name to Dave enables us to create a strong and noisy personality for the channel that immediately aligns us with our core 16-34 male audience.”


Because 16-34 year old males are obviously morons.

This is the future we have built, TV channels named ‘Dave’. ‘UKTV Bright Ideas’ obviously being considered too fucking high-brow for the TV viewer of today.

I can easily imagine some spotty media studies marketing moron standing up in a meeting and asking, “UKTV Bright Ideas, doesn’t that sound a bit gay?”.

Suddenly the reasons why I don’t watch much telly become blindingly obvious.

Or maybe I’m being harsh because I’m not in the demographic that would find saying, “Did you see the tits on that woman on Dave last night” brilliantly witty.

[tags]Death of TV, morons,IwanttokillsomeoneyesIdo[/tags]

International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

What?

Are you all twelve or something?

Ninjas are clearly superior.

[tags] ITLAPD, International talk like a pirate day, Ifyouhavethatmuchdesiretodosomethingdosomethingforyourfellowman, secretspoiler [/tags]

Text ‘Mate’ To 80333

Friday, July 20th, 2007

I’m watching late night music TV. (Ian Dury on VH1 Classic to be precise). When one of those annoying adverts for ‘text message services’ comes on. Some bored sounding Irish woman is telling me to send off a text message to find out the initial of the man I’m going to marry.

It only costs £1.50

What surprises me is that you can even subscribe to this service so that ‘you can get your latest result every week!’.

Just how daft are people? I mean, it must work or the company would go bankrupt wouldn’t they?

And if it does work then I truly despair at the thought that the people using this service might be the same people looking after me when I’m old and infirm.

Looks like a cyanide capsule might be an essential bit of kit for my future.

[tags]SMS, somepeoplearereallydumb, latenighttelly, stabbyfeelings[/tags]

ARRGH! My Eyes! My Eyes!

Monday, June 4th, 2007

So apparently the London Olympics committee has decided that this monstrosity will be the official logo of the 2012 games.

Which reminds me of the crappy album covers you used to get back in the 80′s


Anyhow – it cost £400,000 to design, when really they could have got a classroom full of children to design something a bit more pleasing to the eye.

Tony Blair said, “When people see the new brand, we want them to be inspired to make a positive change in their life.”

I’m not too sure on that – when I see the first one out in the wild I’ll be wanting to paint over the bloody thing. For the next five years this bloody hideous thing is going to be displayed everywhere that I work. I won’t be able to get rid of it, and with those colours it’ll probably be burned into my retinas.

For £400,000 the design fails spectacularly on all levels, I’m left thinking that someone suggested it as a joke and then some focus group thought that it would be a good idea as an ‘international symbol’ because no country is daft enough to have those colours in it’s flag. Besides, a bit of the old red, white and blue would be a bit too ‘imperial’ I suppose…

One thing that I am sure of is that it’ll result in increasing the sales of sunglasses in East London though.

Saturday, April 7th, 2007

Is it any wonder the world is in the state it’s in when there are people this fucking stupid.

Click here to make yourself cry in frustration.

I really do despair sometimes.

(Tip of the hat to Linkmachinego).

[tags]SoFuckingStupidICan’tBelieveThatTheyCanTalkAndBreatheAtTheSameTime, FirstUpAgainstTheWall, EvolutionDenial[/tags]